i build walls. i keep people out. i leave just enough room to get to know very few people because i am scared of getting hurt. i don’t admit to being hurt all too often, but that’s because i don’t let myself get hurt too often. i protect myself. i keep my guard up because, in theory, if i let it down, someone, someday will find a way to break me. but who says that everyone is going in for the kill? who says i have to get hurt? and who says getting hurt won’t make me stronger?
it is all a part of living that i have avoided because thought i knew better. i thought protecting myself was the way to go. i thought playing it safe, a risk here and there but nothing major, i thought that was how it should be done.
why would i sacrifice my current happiness based on something that might happen in the future? i’m not going to. i’m happy with the way things are in my life now. i’m happy that i don’t know everything. i’m happy that i’m making progress as a person. i’m prepared for things to go wrong, but i shouldn’t expect it and i won’t.
i don’t want to predict every detail of my future. i don’t want to know. i want things to be a little more carefree and a little less planned.
i’m really changing. i feel really good about my life.